Journals74
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Sup Spicy Beans
1 min read
How tf do you guys even still watch me on here? I'm boring as fuccckkk... lol you guys are so sweet for stickin' around. Thanks! Even if yall just left DA, thanks for still watching. I hope you guys are staying strong! [; ]w[; ]
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Hurhur
1 min read
Working on Art Trades currently! If you have any questions about anything/commissions/ feel free to comment below!<3
Thanks!
Thanks!
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I AM BACK
4 min read
So... I have a crazy life right now still. I understand people were commissioning me, please contact me asap. Thank you, if you are still interested! If not, do not worry, I will open Christmas slots and have Christmas specials.
______________
A slice of Bananner-Life-Pie:
There is a lot I wish to publicly talk about. What is happening in my life, but this is still too new. All I can say I guess is, my family was obviously dysfunctional. So, I went to get family therapy for all of us. OF COURSE, as a psych. major. Um... it has been very bad. Called the cops... in total 6 times. I am ashamed of it. I am embarrassed and I know I need to overcome it because the calls were not even for me. I have to stand strong and understand: If I was embarrassed, how would my family members feel? WORSE, I would assume. I have both: mother and father issues. No, they do not hit me. BUT the emotional abuse and verbal abuse was too much. I face hardships, maybe a little too deep for me to express here... I wish I could just say it, type it all out... I am not embarrassed about it because I know I am just human too but... I simply have to say that, this is personal but it makes my days harder than they used to be before. MY days ALREADY have been a constant fight to go on, eventual got my own support system with myself but my parents became worse. Even my little sister.
: ) yeah, so you can see even my little sister is driving us all crazy...
I have not seen a therapist for me. I think I might see one but so far, my family is. I think that is what matters right now. My family... because they are the closest people to me right now, the nearest ones. The most impact, I guess? Doesn't mean I don't love more people, which I do, but... they are important to me. Sucky really, how they hurt one another, including me but I still love them. That's how family is, everyone has a crisis. I think that this one will be over too, soon but not now. I trust myself more than I ever did before, so I know I won't fuck up like I did before many times in my life. I am not the best person on Earth but I actually try to be. I know, sadly, how guilt trippy, abusive, demanding, people can get. I even know other people would just cut it off and move out but... I never been like that. I always fight for what I believe in, deep in my heart. I know what it is all for, love. I will never stop doing that because when I die, the last thing I want to be doing is loving. It took too damn long to learn this much about life to just toss in the towel. To be honest... I still am reckless but... at least now I am not blinded by my own shitty wants and needs.
I just needed to vent-i caramle frap, on here. Sorry about all that crap but do not worry, I am an adult. I am taking care of myself and staying focused in school. I just need moments in my life to talk about it but I refuse to place all this pressure to my friends. They already have too much on their plates. The internet honestly does make it easier for me to let this stuff out. These words are free and it makes me calm down that it will not weigh anyone down. Everyone else has big ass issues too. I don't direct these words to anyone, they just kinda float... ya know?
______________
A slice of Bananner-Life-Pie:
There is a lot I wish to publicly talk about. What is happening in my life, but this is still too new. All I can say I guess is, my family was obviously dysfunctional. So, I went to get family therapy for all of us. OF COURSE, as a psych. major. Um... it has been very bad. Called the cops... in total 6 times. I am ashamed of it. I am embarrassed and I know I need to overcome it because the calls were not even for me. I have to stand strong and understand: If I was embarrassed, how would my family members feel? WORSE, I would assume. I have both: mother and father issues. No, they do not hit me. BUT the emotional abuse and verbal abuse was too much. I face hardships, maybe a little too deep for me to express here... I wish I could just say it, type it all out... I am not embarrassed about it because I know I am just human too but... I simply have to say that, this is personal but it makes my days harder than they used to be before. MY days ALREADY have been a constant fight to go on, eventual got my own support system with myself but my parents became worse. Even my little sister.
: ) yeah, so you can see even my little sister is driving us all crazy...
I have not seen a therapist for me. I think I might see one but so far, my family is. I think that is what matters right now. My family... because they are the closest people to me right now, the nearest ones. The most impact, I guess? Doesn't mean I don't love more people, which I do, but... they are important to me. Sucky really, how they hurt one another, including me but I still love them. That's how family is, everyone has a crisis. I think that this one will be over too, soon but not now. I trust myself more than I ever did before, so I know I won't fuck up like I did before many times in my life. I am not the best person on Earth but I actually try to be. I know, sadly, how guilt trippy, abusive, demanding, people can get. I even know other people would just cut it off and move out but... I never been like that. I always fight for what I believe in, deep in my heart. I know what it is all for, love. I will never stop doing that because when I die, the last thing I want to be doing is loving. It took too damn long to learn this much about life to just toss in the towel. To be honest... I still am reckless but... at least now I am not blinded by my own shitty wants and needs.
I just needed to vent-i caramle frap, on here. Sorry about all that crap but do not worry, I am an adult. I am taking care of myself and staying focused in school. I just need moments in my life to talk about it but I refuse to place all this pressure to my friends. They already have too much on their plates. The internet honestly does make it easier for me to let this stuff out. These words are free and it makes me calm down that it will not weigh anyone down. Everyone else has big ass issues too. I don't direct these words to anyone, they just kinda float... ya know?
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COMMISSION UPDATE: AUGUST 2019
2 min read
Hai!!!
So sorry, I really am! I have been occupied with major changes. FOR EXAMPLE; my service has been extended for jury. I have to leave home from 7:30 am and return home (in over 100 degrees F) 4:30 pm. I also have new housing regulations to comply, had to literally hide my dog from the house owners (because we are not allowed to own a dog), and school starts soon. It is harder for me now, because my transfer councilor bailed on me. :,(
I honestly don't blame him, I mean... It is a huge stretch from wanting to attend the closest university to the top ones. I really want to get into Stanford. I have the grades and qualifications for this. I am committed, interested, and believe I can do impressive work. I adore research and have my priorities straightened out. I know what I need to do but it is not the same as doing them. People seem to be so self interested. I know, I mean I suppose I am doing the same thing. But I know I could help and make wonders in the medical field. I truly... do not like it. Ahaha, okay I admit it. I am silly but I have empathy. That is most needed in the health science area, especially with mental health. So, I am kinda my own secretary again.
Okay, now that tangent is closed... I am going to finish the commissions this week. I DOUBT there will be anymore issues... I hope. I will update and make sure to reach out to each individual when the time comes. Thank you for your marvelous patience, take care!
-Warmly, Nana
please do not check my grammar, spelling... Literally buzzed out of coffee--
So sorry, I really am! I have been occupied with major changes. FOR EXAMPLE; my service has been extended for jury. I have to leave home from 7:30 am and return home (in over 100 degrees F) 4:30 pm. I also have new housing regulations to comply, had to literally hide my dog from the house owners (because we are not allowed to own a dog), and school starts soon. It is harder for me now, because my transfer councilor bailed on me. :,(
I honestly don't blame him, I mean... It is a huge stretch from wanting to attend the closest university to the top ones. I really want to get into Stanford. I have the grades and qualifications for this. I am committed, interested, and believe I can do impressive work. I adore research and have my priorities straightened out. I know what I need to do but it is not the same as doing them. People seem to be so self interested. I know, I mean I suppose I am doing the same thing. But I know I could help and make wonders in the medical field. I truly... do not like it. Ahaha, okay I admit it. I am silly but I have empathy. That is most needed in the health science area, especially with mental health. So, I am kinda my own secretary again.
Okay, now that tangent is closed... I am going to finish the commissions this week. I DOUBT there will be anymore issues... I hope. I will update and make sure to reach out to each individual when the time comes. Thank you for your marvelous patience, take care!
-Warmly, Nana
please do not check my grammar, spelling... Literally buzzed out of coffee--
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Not on hiatus, just on delay.
1 min read
Sorry folks, I have been summoned for all of August till the 20th. (We hope) I do have weekends off and the people were nice enough to cut Monday and Friday. The issue is, I am kinda home alone since my dad works.And bro came back for the summer and won't stop playing L.O.L. so, he literally is just a zombie here
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